Link's Quest?
by ihavenolife
Summary: funny stuff


The legend of Zelda:Link's Quest?  
  
  
Disclaimer:i dont own Zelda i just used it  
  
One morning while in his cabin back around the Ocarina of time/majora's  
mask area Link was reading the news paper when he saw an aritucle that Zelda  
had been kidnapped........again.So he started to get ready.First he thought"I  
need a fairy" so he yelled "Hey Din i need a fairy".Suddenly a bright orb with  
wings appeared.It said "hi,im Rayine".Link said "cool this time my fairy is   
green,my favorite color".Next he had to get his weapons he thought.Sohe went to  
Joe pollos cheap weapons and bought a bow,a sword,and a sheild.He went to see  
Miss cleo to get his future read.Miss Cleo said "Yo mon,i see you fightin' a big  
Creature with wings,in a mall".So with that he went to hyrules main mall it had been  
invaded by Evil Electric shavers.With that link killed each shaver and entered a big   
room it had a treasure chest in the middle of it link opened it and found a Bomb bag.  
Rayine told him that it was 50% leather and 50% dogdongo stomach.He entered  
the next room and it had a big fat shoe with wings.Link fought and   
killed it by using the shoe laces to cut off its oxygen supply.Then apeice of what looked   
like crack cockaine appear he picked it up and grabbed the heart container.As  
he walked into the blue light to be transported it gave a busy signal and   
told him to try again later.  
  
3 minutes later  
  
Link walks into the light and is transported to the front of the mall where  
a shop clerk explains he need to collect the 3 peices of crack to open drug door.  
Link found that hyrule was the largest crack exporter of all the gaming worlds.  
Then he learned that Ganon thought the world should be drug free and sealed all the  
drugs behind a big door and that if he opened the door in the back was the  
sword of time which he could use to go to the side time zone.So with that he set  
out to slay the next beast.  
  
In hyrule field a bird that looked like it was high appeared and said you shall fight the   
beast Hitler next and flew off.Link came to a city called Freaktopia.He first decided to  
visit the local gentlemens club for clues.When he got there he asked the strippers for   
clues and a lap dance.After wacthing that and having Rayine tell him how bad it was  
the stripers gave him an item called the cell phone and with that he went to the next   
palace.When he walked in he was attacked by whores.He defeated the whores and moved on to   
find a treasure chest it had a hookshot.Rayine told Link this was made of stainless steel.He   
continued on to come to a puzzle.It had a block and 2 doors that opened and closed.Link  
pushed the block between the doors,climbed on top of it,and moved on.Next he came to a   
room that looked like a battle feild and the boss Hitler appeared.Link barely defeated him  
but did.He was awarded the 2nd peice of crack.  
  
Rayine told Link to get the church organs of time next because it would help him on his   
quest.So he looked for them until he came to a curch the priest gave him the organs Rayine   
told him to carry these around.Link said "how,these are heavy"?Rayine said "well then just  
drag them i guess".With that link set off dragging the organs.When he was almost at the next temple  
Rayine taught him the song of butt to get in.When he got to the temple he played the song of  
butt on the organ and the doors opened.He walked in and it was a surpringly short dungeon   
he walked right into the boss room.There stood a beast that looked like a hooker.He fought   
hard and beat her and was awarded the final peice of crack.  
  
He set off to the temple of crack to open the door.When he got there dozens of drug dealers  
cheered him on he went and grabbed the sword of time.When he was transoprted to a differnt time   
zone where ganon was hiding.But he figured out he needed to get the 6 peices of chocalte.He was  
about to go looking for the temples when Rayine said she sensed a fairy.He wondered where it could   
be then he spotted a sign that said The great fairy is in here.So he went there.A fairy hooker   
appear and took the stripers cell phone and changed it to the XXX phone now he could get tips off it   
and it would have a use for carring around.She also told him about the next temple and it treasure.   
With that he set off to hella hot desert.When he got to the temple he had an idea.why not just pick the  
locks instead of use keys.So with that he went through the temple very fast.He came to a treasure chest  
it had some thing called the trans-tunic in he put it on and was in a drag.He continued until he came to  
boss door where he had to weld the lock off.It turns out the boss was a Bull.He beat it by sticking   
sword out when the bull charged at him.He had the first peice of chocalate.  
  
He used his cell phone to call the strip club.They told him the next temple was in garbage bay.So  
he headed there when he got there he dived in the water and found the next temple.This time he to   
swin to the lock but he didn't care he picked them anyway.He found a treasure chest it had the flubber  
sheild in it.Rayine explained anything that touched this would be flung back 30 feet.When he came to the   
boss it was a box.He sliced it in peices and got the second peice of chocalate.As he walked out the temple   
he thought aren't i supposed to get one peice freelike i got one medallion free in ocarina of time.With that a  
peice magicaly appeared in his hand.Link said "that's better".  
  
Next he went to New york city to find the next dungeon.Inside the temple he was able to get the   
treasure in the first room.then it was the boss room.The boss was Jay leno.He sliced him up before he could  
use his bad joke attack.He was awarded with the 4th peice of chocalate.  
  
He wonder where the next temple was when the moon crased on him and he was inside.IT WAS MADE OF CHEESE.  
It was the next dungeon.He jump over a huge crater and found a treasure chest it had the lens of truth in it.Rayine explained this  
could let you see any thing.He looked at a picture of Zelda with clothes on and herclothes disappeared.Link said "cool".He moved on to see the boss was on vaction so he just picked up the 5th peiceof chocalate.  
  
He was about to call the strip club for clue when a giant Malon appeared and ate him,her stomach was the next dungeon.First he jumped over a pit of stomach acid and found a treasure chest.It had megaton hammer.Rayine explained the was a normal slegde hammer.He came to the boss,it was majora's mask.It didn't see Link so Link stabbed him in the back and killed him.Now he had all the chocalate.Rayine told him to eat it all the smoke weed.He did and he was transported to Ganon's out house where he saw ganon wearing pink pumps was surprized but fought and killed Ganon any way.Then he obsevered pirncess Zelda with the lens of truth.  
  
The end  
  
  
Well how did you like it i cant say i didn't write here before because i helped my sister write Links weekend please R/R.   



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